Hi friend! Before you read, I just wanted to quickly say that this post is about my body image issues I faced when I was pregnant. It’s a tricky subject because pregnancy is BEAUTIFUL and I don’t take healthy pregnancies for granted. I’m so grateful to have been able to carry a life and deliver a healthy baby, two times now! At the same time, both of my pregnancies were really challenging in a lot of ways. I believe that two things can exist at once, even if they contradict each other. So, while I feel crazy blessed to have experienced pregnancy, I also want to talk about my body image issues it caused me, because that is real, and I don’t want anyone to feel alone if they have experienced it as well. It’s my prayer that if you can relate to this post that it gives you peace knowing you aren’t alone, and if you can’t relate to it, that you’ll understand that this is me being vulnerable and sharing a part of my story with you even if you don’t identify with it. So, if you’d like to read on, here you go!
Both of my pregnancies have stretched me, literally, in so many ways. Being pregnant, while one of the BEST blessings this life can offer, is truly one of the most challenging things I’ve gone through. From the morning sickness that hit all day and night, the fatigue, the hormonal changes that led to massive mood swings, the time spent wondering, worrying, and, I hate to admit it, googling, about how baby was growing and developing; Just about everything was a challenge. One of the most difficult things for me was just how quickly my body changed and how that left me feeling mentally.
During both of my pregnancies, I had a really hard time liking my body. It’s such a tough thing because on the one hand, my body was going through some incredible changes to create a new life. My body was sustaining a little person and providing a safe place for them to grow. It was so cool to see God’s design at work in such a tangible and personal way. Yet the things that go along with growing a human made me feel large and ugly, just to be completely honest. Even early on in the first trimester, I felt and saw every part of my body expanding. I hated 99% of the pictures that were taken of me while I was pregnant because all I saw when I looked at them was how swollen I looked. I would see pregnant women on instagram and Pinterest looking so small and cute with the perfect little baby bumps, and I spent so much time wondering why I looked like a fat balloon compared to them (I can laugh at this now because I know it sounds dramatic, but in the moment it’s exactly how I felt).
Even though I knew that what I looked like didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, it still affected me. And even though I know God created me in His image, He loves me, and I am His daughter regardless of what I look like, those truths didn’t always immediately stop my negative thoughts surrounding my body. I hate to know that I spent so many of my days during pregnancy hating what I looked like and felt like.
So here I am sharing my struggle in case anyone else needs to hear what I needed to hear, which is simply that you’re not alone, and God is still with you in the midst of your struggle. When you struggle to believe that you are beautiful, when you struggle to believe that you are not the giant whale you perceive yourself to be, when you struggle to remember that getting to carry your baby as they form into the beautiful person God created them to be is a miracle and it actually doesn’t matter what you look like; God is still with you, and that’s what matters. I pray you will cling to God and the contentment only He can provide. You may never feel the pregnancy glow, and that’s okay. It’s more important to feel God’s glowing presence surrounding you, encouraging you to draw near to Him on your hardest days. When looking in the mirror or at a picture of yourself is hard, look to God instead and He will carry His beautiful daughter (YOU!) through the struggles you face while you’re carrying your beautiful daughter or son.
Ephesians 2:10 -> For we are God’s masterpiece. He has crated us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.
Psalm 139:14 -> I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
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